Saints drub Bills, pics, part 2

That's me. That's Jairus Byrd. Byrd got rolled up.



Reggie!

Pierre Thomas just blew up yesterday. And he didn't even play in the first half. But 14 carries for 126 yards and a couple of touchdowns is superstar stuff.

Greg Williams' defense had the Bills on their heels all day. If it weren't for that lucky fake field goal for a touchdown -- Jonathon Vilma nearly sacked the place kicker, too -- Buffalo would've scored only three points. Whew! I gotta go back in the archives and figure out when's the last time the Saints kept a team to seven points or less.

Jabari Greer tees off.

Charles Grant, get you some!

He broke the bread, he passed the bread, and said, Take this, all of you, and run with it. For these are the yards we march into the Super Bowl.

Saints drub Bills!

Oh momma, there's a reason why we don't need running commentary. But for a game that took the Saints all game to get going, that defensive effort was awesom e.

Smith!

Lynell Hamilton -- sit down!

What Would Breesus Do?

Led by our savior, his almighty, Breesus, the Saints will be marching next February.

For all of us, including out-of-market fans on the West Coast, tomorrow's game is an afternoon game. So let us all pray Sunday morning for another 40-plus kickass performance from Drew Brees and Co. while playing the Buffalo Bills. If you can't make it to church, consider this blog post a midnight mass of sorts, for the ego of jshox, which attended St. Alphonsous in the 70818, is far from his place of baptism, confession and worship.

But he's working on a Bloody Mary, if that counts for anything.

That reminds me of a famous depiction of Breesus passing a Hail Mary.

In Breesus & the Saints we pray, amen. 

DB's balls spin at 52-mph, says Sport Science

According to Sport Science on Fox Sports, Drew Brees throws footballs more accurately than Olympic archers shoot arrows.

Not surprised, huh? Me neither.

But their study of his passing dynamics is pretty remarkable. My quarterback, whom I promised a roast beef poboy from Parasol's after film study on Friday, consistently passes footballs at 52-mph with a 6-degree vertical extension and 600 RPMs with a gyro scoping torque that defies gravity and aerodynamically forces wind around the ball, which counterbalances itself, while slight wobbles purposefully keep the ball on target against prevailing winds.

Imagine that. 

Oh, Yeessssssiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!! Here's two of my favorite bastuhds to run into at Parasol's, I GAH-Ron-Tee! (Where's The Force?)

Three wobbles per five spins is key, says Sport Science. Which means wobbly passes are good when outdoors in January/December. But if you're a fan who likes the game's technicalities as fully dressed as your poboy, here's the Sport Science video (I'm already dreaming of extra au jus on the side for dippings, yeah you right!):

Saints shred Eagles in Philly

When Campbell's Soup Co. calls Drew Brees to chow down a bowl of Chunky, it had better have one of those big crawfish pots fully simmering with the goop -- because the team's coming and we're hungry as hell.

This franchise is hungry. This organization is hungry. This city is hungry. And this offense can't serve up enough points -- although 93 points in two games is second-best in league history -- because we're too damn hungry.    

Check out Marques Colston scoring on Asante Samuel in the first quarter. Colston had two touchdowns for the day (three on the season), but it was the second one that came with just over a minute to play in the second half that was astounding: He was covered on a 25-yard post route to the end zone when Drew Brees missiled a high dart away from the defender and to Colston's back shoulder.

Colston, who at 6-4 can catch just about everything from his ankles to over his head, latched on to the pass like it was just another day of routine pass and catch. After the game he said he knew exactly where Drew was going to put it when he saw his quarterback's eyes.

I had a decent outing in the 48-22 romp, playing a pivotal role in the first drive with a few catches, one of those going for 22 yards. (Nice tackle Macho Harris (what a name!).) I finished with four. 

But I'm most proud of the fact that after the game, when Brees was explaining how well the offense is working together, he also threw in "Shockey's coming along."

Jshox redux! Huh bruh?

By the way, was anyone besides me surprised by the athleticism Heath Evans displayed when he tip-toed and spun down the sideline after catching a pass in the flat before lunging for the goal line past two defenders and reaching the ball inside the pylon? Dude's got game, and two touchdowns already with that play.

I don't like to post photos of the other team playing well, but I think this one is testament to Drew's toughness. And I'm in it too, so that helps.

Jshox recovered that fumble, by the way.

You know the Eagles defense is tough. And we certainly didn't think we'd throw up 40 or more on it. But that's how we dejected it.

After the game, Eagles defensive back Sheldon Brown had a couple things to say about the juggernaut that is us.

"They executed," Brown said in post-game interviews. "When you play that team, you have to create turnovers. And you can't have any. That's it."

Drew has now thrown for nine touchdowns. Nine, Eli!

Mike Bell had another solid game, even though he left in the fourth quarter with what Coach Sean Payton called a slight sprain. Let's hope he rebounds quickly.

Next Sunday we take on the Bills in Buffalo, where I expect Reggie Bush to take the load of snaps while Pierre Thomas is worked back into the rotation.

Reggie had a good game today too. Little dude gets fired up. We were whooping and hollering on the sideline when he scored on that nearly 20-yard run up the middle in the fourth quarter.


Here's Pierre Tweeting: "Who Dat! Our squad is something serious, we're in for one exciting year! Great win today, back to work tmro"

Oh, and how bout Darren Sharper, huh bruh? What a free agent pickup. He now has the most interceptions (50-something) of all active players in the NFL, but when he picked off Kevin Kolb at the end for a 97-yard score he actually tied Deion Sanders, at nine, for interceptions returned for touchdowns. 


That's crazy. Sharper has as many Pick Sixes as Neon Deion.  I heard coach owes him a dinner for that too. During practice last week coach was heard ribbing Sharper, who had two picks against Detroit, that at 33 he was too old to take one to the house.

"We want to have the mentality that if we have a team down,  we want to stomp on their throat and not let them come back," Sharper later said.

Sharper, my friend, be sure to order Oysters Bienville. Awesome appetizer.

And this game, Brees shared the ball with nine different receivers. 

"He gets the ball off quick," said Eagles cornerback Joselio Hanson. "It seemed like we were a step behind. He knows where he wants to go with the ball.

"Drew Brees is an animal. He's one of the best."

"Tyson" doc a tearjerker . . . Go Canes

The U just looks faster than ever -- look out Top 10!

Holding down the 305, Miami whooped that Georgia Tech ass tonight 33-17. Canes are looking better than they have in a long time. I can go to bed and rest happy tonight.

But before I do, I'd like to talk about "Tyson," the documentary. I watched it the other night and it got the jshox whooping and hollering and even a bit weepy. I mean, the dude was knocking grown men out at the age of 19, 20, and yet he had no one on his side for real advice when his only mentor in life, and boxing coach, Cus D'Amato, died in 1985 at 77 before Mke Tyson won the heavyweight title.

D'Amato was the first and last positive force in Tyson's life and the former heavyweight boxer isn't afraid to admit in this documentary culled from about 80 hours of taped interviews. When Iron Mike cries, jshox gets teary eyed too.

"Madness, the chaos of the brain," says Tyson about the ferociousness D'Amato taught him to use in the ring and pulverize opponents. Oh, and "speed kills."

As a 14-year-old, Tyson knocked a kid out in just 14 seconds in a junior championship match: "There's nothing like when you're young and having fun."

Tyson became a knock-out master. When throwing a punch, he explains that he pictures his fist going through the back of his opponent's head. Sure, it sounds brutal, he says, but there's an art form to the accuracy of deadly precision.

When Tyson won the heavyweight title, he did so by knocking out Michael Spinks in about 90 seconds. It's kind of hard to tell where the last punch landed, but after a couple of watches you can tell it didn't matter if it had been the solar plexus or or the left eye or a grazing of the bottom jaw. Knockout.

I won't give away everything about the movie, but Tyson admits more than once that skyrocketing fame and fortune were too much for a very young person to handle when the only mentor around is a blood-sucking leach like Don King.

We all know about the rape conviction, the ear bite (although Tyson makes a convincing case for his frustration and anger toward Holyfield for two consecutive fights of illegal headbutting), and the crazy tattoos, though they don't seem so crazy long before the credits roll.

Despite Tyson's transgressions, you'd be cold not to sympathize with him for at least few moments during this 90-minute confessional. He appears to be focused on being a father and putting his mistakes behind him. And he says it well, even with that famous lisp. 

Brees is a machine . . . redux right on course

Twenty-two months ago I caught a touchdown pass in the NFL. Until Sunday, it had been the last one.

Now it's jshox redux!

On Sunday I caught two touchdown passes from Drew Brees.

Then again, it's hard not to catch a touchdown from DB. Especially when he's breaking another record by becoming the first NFL quarterback to throw six touchdown passes in a season opener.

I mean, you'd be more likely to catch a Juan's Flying Burrito out of the sky on Magazine Street than not catch a pass or two with Brees at the helm in the Superdome.    


Brees surgically lasered the ball to eight of us -- 8, Eli! -- while we whipped the Lions 45-27.

Brees hooked up with me on consecutive drives before the end of the second quarter from 1 and 15 yards out. And that first one, no matter how short, was sort of a big deal.  Because now my disappearance from the endzone last year is shelved away.

The game itself should have been more of an ass whooping. The Lions, however, were lucky recipients of bad special teams play from us; three horrible and consecutively egregious officiating calls against us with the Lions on the goal line; and a fumble returned for a touchdown.

Mike Bell left the rock on the turf for their last score but the dude also ran for over 140 yards for what, 28 carries?

Anyhow, we gotta do better than that. Last season we were 2-6 on the road. And now we march to Philadelphia. It's time to get a couple of road wins (at Buffalo is Week 3) while eliminating simple mistakes to prove to the so-called experts that as a team, we are the real deal.

Undoubtedly, Drew is the deal. He has now thrown for 300 yards or more in 24 of his last 49 games with the Saints.

And onward he marches. Who Dat!

Marques Colston got him some touchdown action on the opening drive. Yeeeeeaaaaaahhhhhhhh!

And I was giddier than a 18-year-old Baptist with a Bourbon Street Big Ass Beer.

Hold me, Marques. 

"Call the 219 Zip over the middle, coach, and I'll stomp that Larry Foote!" -- jshox



Darren Sharper celebrates his first of two interceptions of Matt Stafford, while the D ended up with 3 ints. Hell yeah!  

Daunte Culpepper thanks Drew Brees for the How-to-be-the-most-awesome-quarterback-in-the-NFL-clinic on Sunday before asking No. 9 for directions to the nearest Popeyes.

Hey, I know what you're thinking, and I fucking luuuv Popeyes too!

Supa Saints Fan: I will redeem us, we'll redeem you

Nine months ago our 2008 season collapsed. In the aftermath, a fella by the name of Supa Saints Fan posted a dance interpretation of his frustrations, which caused him to dance ala-Bret, or is it Brit? (they talk funny), of Flight of the Conchords. That was funny. I had never seen anyone dance like that before. But Supa Saints Fan has his own interpretation of Bret's hilarious New Zealand jig: (Bluegill, this is highlighted, meaning you must click on it if you want to remain germane, and not tito, to the conversation. (Bluegill is a coonass out of Dulac who guided us on that redfish-bowhunting trip that Drew took us on in May. (Don't ask. All I know is that coonass is an affectionate term and Bluegill insists he certainly is one and that we must call him one.) Anyway, Bluegill ain't too internet savvy, but he does like to stay connected, and sometimes you have to point him in the right direction.)

But here's my point: I'm pissed Supa Saints Fan opens his video of letdowns, less than a minute into it, with me dropping a pass and Drew subsequently ripping into me. Because I can GAH-Ron-TEE that shit ain't happenig again. And Supa Saints Fan, this all I have to say: Let's see you and your cape and fu manchu and wig and glasses down in the stands where everyone can see you. Otherwise, your get-up ain't shit.

Really, and this concerns you, all Saints tards, how brilliant would it be to market yourself on youtube as a super fan and present yourself in the box seats at each home game and kind of give a roundup of the season's progress after every three or four games? That could make you a hometown star! But that's my idea. And I just trademarked it. So I request a 15 percent commission from anyone and everyone who pulls it off. No. 88!    

Whatever. I need rest. Kickoff vs. the Lions is about 36 hours away and I'm as giddy for the season opener as an overpaid rookie walking inside the Gold Club for the first time.

Before I go, and this is hard to admit, but I gotta say that I admire certain players in the NFL. Hell, I have a fucking blast watching everyone play. But I have a few favorite players. And I gotta tell ya, on Thursday night, against the Titans, James Harrison did not relent. Dude was throwing off blocks and tackling Chris Henry for losses. I, Jeremy Shockey, have a bit of a man-crush on No. 92. And why not? F it! The 100-yard pick-6 against Arizona in the Super Bowl sealed it for me. But everyone's seen that. So without further ado, may I introduce a highlight reel of my favorite player in the AFC, James Harrison, aka The Silverback:

Drew Brees is my leader

Since I was busy holding down the 305 when SI's NFL preview was delivered to my nola home, and later there was football to watch and practice resumed Monday, I've been slow to peruse the latest issue's contents.

But here are my thoughts:

Drew Brees is outshined by Tom and Peyton in the minds of so-called NFL experts only because he hasn't won a Super Bowl. Yet.

Brees will win a Super Bowl. He's too f'ing damn good not to (only qb in history of the game to have three consecutive seasons of 4,400 or more yards and 26 or more touchdowns, and the march continues).

On that note, I still can't believe Peter King predicted we'll finish behind Atlanta and Carolina at 7-9. Does he really think our defense is gonna be the same, or worse? Last year we finished 8-8 -- five of those losses were by a field goal or fewer points. So our D was porous.

But now we're better, and obviously under the radar. All Brees and Co. need from the new defense under Greg Williams are more forced turnovers and three-and-outs. It'll be a few weeks until we really know how they shape up in the latter, but as far as preseason and camp have shown, we're better at getting the ball back into our qb's hands.

Back to the so-called experts: In seven categories that SI asked them to rank quarterbacks -- best overall, best deep arm, best game manager, toughest, most athletic, best at the line of scrimmage, best under pressure -- Drew ranked in five of the best-of-five listings. And he was top in toughest. But he followed Tom and Peyton in best overall. I can't wait to hear the experts run their gums when he wins a Super Bowl.

Who Dat!

Can't wait till Sunday

After holding down the 305 last weekend with some buddies, it was a blast watching the Canes yesterday beat Florida State 38-34.

Man, I had some good times on that team.

And now the speed is back. I'd love to watch the Canes crack the Top 10 again. I'd fly back to South Beach every f'ing chance I get.

By the way, you'll never see me wear Purple and Gold, but if Joe McKnight -- whom Pete Carroll stole from the Mad Hatter -- has a breakout year and is a main reason the Trojans land in a BCS bowl, I'll do what I can to get Regg in a LSU cap.

Speaking of the beach, anyone listen to Iggy Pop's latest album, the one he sings standards on? I know I've been a lifelong fan of Phish and Kid Rock, and although I've never paid much attention to old Iggy before, this latest from the seminal punk rocker got me through some rocky nights earlier this summer. In fact, this number, I Want to Go to the Beach, always gets me in the mood for South Beach and mojitos.

  Oh yeah, did I tell ya I finally got my '69 Dodge Challenger shipped down to me? Whhoooooooooweeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Huh bruh? Who Dat! . . . Who wants to race now? Yeah you right!

Ya know, this car is like the Saints' revamped defense with an all-out blitz against Matt Stafford and the Hyundai Sonati-like Lions.

On a different note, is Michael Crabtree trippin'? Everyone in the league is sniffin' the season opener and the boy ain't even signed with the 49ers yet. Shit, he coulda got the rookie year outta the way and already have a few cool mill in the bank. But no, he thinks he's Rubio of Spain or some shit. Don't he know NFL careers are ephemeral, or is his agent so greedy it's become the signing percentage that matters? I bet it's the latter.

Five days ago LaGarette Blount, of Oregon, which was sniffing the Top Ten and is no longer even ranked, cold-cocked that Boise dude, knocked around fellow teammates, and went after Broncos fans. And I still can't stop watching IT.

I'm fired up about playing for real in about five days. But I feel bad for Billy Miller. Hell of a player. Dude picked up the slack last season when I was down coming off a broken leg and then suffering a sports hernia. But Billy instrumentally kept the chains moving with Brees and Co. You hate to see any player miss an entire season because of something like a ruptured Achilles tendon, but I know Billy will be back. So in the meantime it's up to me. REDUX!

One last note: I was cruising yesterday with Regg on I-10 when we saw this ghetto fabulous Altima, decked out with twenty-sixes and in powder blue. He implored me to to slow down so he could get a PHOTO.